A Cry from a Mocking Bird

Most of the time I'm really honestly very happy, but I have my off days being human and all. I call it the 15% because the 85& of the time I am so thankful and happy I'm doing what I'm doing or that I'm God's child. In fact I am always thankful I am God's child because without him my 15% would be a whole lot bigger!

Right now, I'm going through one of my 15% moments. I've been fighting it for a long time but last night I was too worn out to fight anymore and I went to bed sad and woke up sad. I know I am going to be fine but I just can't help but be sad at the moment. Its just confusing, I don't know what happened and i feel like I lost a friend over it. You always made me smile and I honestly respected the person you were. I don't know what happened, all I know is there is distance between us now and I don't want to keep it up anymore. I just want my friend back. I'm waiting for you. I want you to respond to my texts or want to talk to me. I didn't do anything to you so I don't get it. Its soo frustrating though and it makes me want to stop trying. Stop trying at everything. I wanna just wrap myself up in a blanket and close my eyes tight praying we'd never met or been friends...but I know that isn't the answer. The answer is to keep moving and focus on God. Thank goodness he is my Father, because he never disappoints and I know what is meant to be will always be.

I saw my little niece last night and as I was holding her all I could think was "Please, don't ever grow up". I just wanted to protect her from everything. I never wanted her to hurt. She was so beautiful, so innocent, so pure.

I fell in love with her. She was my sunshine. :) I just don't want her to ever grow up. I don't want the world to leave its mark on her. She's so precious. I love her. I wanna hold her tight and make sure no one ever hurts her.

Its funny cause when I was in SD on the way home all I could think about was this girl I knew. She's 19 and beautiful. She has the most caring heart. Her smile is beautiful and I just want to take her and hide her until someone or I can find her the perfect person. I don't want to see the world ruin her. She's an innocent. She's a mocking bird and I don't ever want the world to touch her.

What I don't understand is why there is so much evil in this world. Why can't people care. Why do they have to be selfish and take. Every time they take you hear the cry of a mocking bird. The innocent. Why can't people just give and not worry about themselves.

The world is just a funny place, the best I can do is try to help.

p.s. I promise I'll keep my distance from you.