One Day

So here's the thing: I just don't get it. Why is it that the girls always tend to get screwed over. Yeah yeah I know...you boys have feelings too and you get hurt alright but honestly I feel like its just the girls who get played or used to boost the mans ego. Okay, maybe I haven't found the right one but I've certainly run into a ton of guys who tend to use me to boost up there ego.

I'm so tired of playing the game. i'm sick of playing by their rules. Who ever said that they were in charge. Who ever decided they could tell us who we are. It doesn't matter if you aren't skinny enough. Who gives a crap what they say. They say "don't be too fat, or too thin, or too dark, or too light; don't be too sexual, or too chaste, or too smart, or too dumb." What the heck! What do they want. Do they even know? or do they just want someone to pump their ego for them. Well I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the disappointments and the late nights where I wonder where I went wrong or why they didn't want me. There is no reason for me to waste my time over a guy who decided in his mind that I or you weren't worth it. I can't tell you how many late nights I spent crying or long car rides where I just drove and drove with tears runnning down my eyes because I thought I screwed up.

The year of 2010 is almost up and I had two guys in my life who meant something. First one meant a lot to me but after a couple months told me I wasn't worth the trouble. Second guy happened about four months ago. He played me...that one didn't hurt as much I just wish I had known better. I mean for real when a guy asks you where you stand on sex before marriage what are you suppose to think? Welp I was dumb and just ignored it. HAHA jokes on me. I wasn't as hurt the second time around. I was disappointed but I can tell you I only spent about two nights of tears on that loser. The second time wouldn't have even happened if I wasn't extremely sick and had missed out on a bunch of parties I had planed, but my point is why in the world do we allow boys to control our emotions. Why do we let them get inside our head and tell us that we aren't worth it or we aren't pretty enough....They have no right to control you that way. You were created by God...and he made you perfect in the perfect way that he wanted you to be. Believe that, don't listen to what guys say about you....trust me it will still happen. I've had plenty other things said about me that are really bad, but i'm not going to allow them to control me and belittle me. I'm gonna stay strong. Sure I may be disappointed for a little bit because rejection hurts but you know what... after a storm their is always a beautiful rainbow and "the important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home." So come back home and be the best version of yourself that you can be! Shine bright like a firework! because one day a boy is going to come and whisk you off your feet and make you forget about all the other rejection you felt. One day it will all be worth it. I promise.