Its the weekend and school is finished, work is over and its time to relax and only think of myself. Only myself…only myself.
Sounds a bit selfish don't you think. So a couple days ago I received this invite to a group that was made in honor of many people who have committed suicide. Everyone wore yellow in honor of anyone who has ever taken their life because they felt there was nothing left to do. I decided I would honor them by wearing yellow today and painting a yellow line across my cheeks. Many people asked me what the purpose of the yellow was, it was a difficult answer for me to give because many people think suicide is a selfish act. I finally came up with a responds that was kind and truthful, it did not look down upon the people who died yet did not justify what they did…my responds was understanding. What I told the people who asked was simply this "I wear yellow in honor of many people who have committed suicide and to remind myself that if I reach out to others and listen that maybe I can save one more life from a horrible choice." We do not wear yellow in honor of people who took their own life but to remember that we need to reach out to others.
We spend so much of our time thinking "eww that person is weird, I don't want them being my friend" but maybe if we got to know that person....maybe we would realize that they need us....we could save so many lost souls if we would just reach out to others in this world. God didn't create us to be selfish and live only for ourselves but to live for others and so we could show Jesus's love through us. WE are HERE to serve others and let God's love live through us. How many times do I need to say that until everyone and myself realize it. We are HERE to serve! Don't be selfish people, reach out, love and help others. Save one more life.
October 30, 2010
October 27, 2010
A LIfe Behind the Scenes
Emily Bender
9/28/10
A Life Behind the Scenes
Grief is like a forest. It's dark and deep, twisting around you, never yielding to your pleads and with permission it may cripple you. Samuel Langhorne Clemens is also known as Mark Twain. His story is beyond anything you might think; because he was talented and gifted in many areas. He seemed to have it all together but behind the curtains, the stage and story telling lived a man of many regret, full of bitterness and unyielding hatred towards his creator.
God on the other hand, seemed to despise Clemens, or so he thought. Samuel believed that everything that went wrong in his life was somehow God’s fault. If only he knew that much of the time he spent blaming God he could have spent praising and thanking him for the people he did have left in his life, but when tragedy strikes at such a young age it is hard to see the positive in negative situations. At a very young age, Samuel’s father was struck ill and died shortly after. The boy was taken out of school and made to work to support the family. His lack of education did not hinder Samuel at all. He was a stubborn young man, who was determined to become someone great but before Clemens pursued a career, he fell in love with a young girl from an upstanding Christian family, who were strong in their faith. Samuel knew how they felt towards God and pretended that he loved and honored the Lord as well so that he would be able to marry Olivia. The family consented and the two young lovers were soon married. During the first fifteen years of marriage, the couple was insanely happy. Clemens than pursued a career in writing and they settled down to have a family.
If life were easy, Samuel would have wished that things would always stay the same, but life isn’t easy and is by far fair. From the very beginning Clemens hated God, and his relationship with him was far from perfect. Since Samuel pretended to love God, but truly didn’t, the truth was bound to come out sooner or later. Olivia Langdon’s faith was strong but wasn’t strong enough to influenced her husband. It was his unbelief that took Olivia from the path of God, which made her give up her belief altogether.
After God was completely out of their life, change came upon them, not all bad at first. Clemens accomplished many great things and all his hard work paid, but the fame he had wasn’t enough and he needed more. He also needed more money. He pushed himself to become better, and to accomplish more in terms of writing books, and he took more opportunities to go on the road and speak. These choices brought him farther away from his family. He lost many special moments, which he would never again get back.
Fame, wealth, and love may be great but grief out does everyone of them. Grief has the power to consume a person as it did to Twain, and death followed him around. The world seemed unfair. Taking everything from him that he held so dear. While on a tour for his books, Twains favorite daughter died of meningitis, not being able to be there with her greatly deepened his bitterness. He never recovered from such a lost and shortly following was his wife and second daughter who died. All Twain had left was his last girl. He became frustrated, which helped increase his sorrows.
Bankruptcy hit him hard and his health also began to weaken. Everything seemed to be falling apart in Mark Twains world, and the person he blamed for it all was God and Adam. He writes in the 1890’s
“Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is,
Knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam,
The first great benefactor of our race. He brought death
into the world.” (Twain 1).
Clemens was miserable. His wish and only hope was death. He allowed everything to pull him down under. Nothing but death could comfort him now. His last wish was to at least see Halley’s comet appear once more in the sky. It appeared the day of his birth in 1835 and in time it also reappeared in 1910 the year of his death. Mark Twain was a beloved and famous author. His works will always be remembered for their humor and blunt remarks. All may not remember his life behind the stage but those who do will pay heed to the grief and bitterness he allowed to devour him alive.
9/28/10
A Life Behind the Scenes
Grief is like a forest. It's dark and deep, twisting around you, never yielding to your pleads and with permission it may cripple you. Samuel Langhorne Clemens is also known as Mark Twain. His story is beyond anything you might think; because he was talented and gifted in many areas. He seemed to have it all together but behind the curtains, the stage and story telling lived a man of many regret, full of bitterness and unyielding hatred towards his creator.
God on the other hand, seemed to despise Clemens, or so he thought. Samuel believed that everything that went wrong in his life was somehow God’s fault. If only he knew that much of the time he spent blaming God he could have spent praising and thanking him for the people he did have left in his life, but when tragedy strikes at such a young age it is hard to see the positive in negative situations. At a very young age, Samuel’s father was struck ill and died shortly after. The boy was taken out of school and made to work to support the family. His lack of education did not hinder Samuel at all. He was a stubborn young man, who was determined to become someone great but before Clemens pursued a career, he fell in love with a young girl from an upstanding Christian family, who were strong in their faith. Samuel knew how they felt towards God and pretended that he loved and honored the Lord as well so that he would be able to marry Olivia. The family consented and the two young lovers were soon married. During the first fifteen years of marriage, the couple was insanely happy. Clemens than pursued a career in writing and they settled down to have a family.
If life were easy, Samuel would have wished that things would always stay the same, but life isn’t easy and is by far fair. From the very beginning Clemens hated God, and his relationship with him was far from perfect. Since Samuel pretended to love God, but truly didn’t, the truth was bound to come out sooner or later. Olivia Langdon’s faith was strong but wasn’t strong enough to influenced her husband. It was his unbelief that took Olivia from the path of God, which made her give up her belief altogether.
After God was completely out of their life, change came upon them, not all bad at first. Clemens accomplished many great things and all his hard work paid, but the fame he had wasn’t enough and he needed more. He also needed more money. He pushed himself to become better, and to accomplish more in terms of writing books, and he took more opportunities to go on the road and speak. These choices brought him farther away from his family. He lost many special moments, which he would never again get back.
Fame, wealth, and love may be great but grief out does everyone of them. Grief has the power to consume a person as it did to Twain, and death followed him around. The world seemed unfair. Taking everything from him that he held so dear. While on a tour for his books, Twains favorite daughter died of meningitis, not being able to be there with her greatly deepened his bitterness. He never recovered from such a lost and shortly following was his wife and second daughter who died. All Twain had left was his last girl. He became frustrated, which helped increase his sorrows.
Bankruptcy hit him hard and his health also began to weaken. Everything seemed to be falling apart in Mark Twains world, and the person he blamed for it all was God and Adam. He writes in the 1890’s
“Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is,
Knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam,
The first great benefactor of our race. He brought death
into the world.” (Twain 1).
Clemens was miserable. His wish and only hope was death. He allowed everything to pull him down under. Nothing but death could comfort him now. His last wish was to at least see Halley’s comet appear once more in the sky. It appeared the day of his birth in 1835 and in time it also reappeared in 1910 the year of his death. Mark Twain was a beloved and famous author. His works will always be remembered for their humor and blunt remarks. All may not remember his life behind the stage but those who do will pay heed to the grief and bitterness he allowed to devour him alive.
October 26, 2010
A Death
Many of you might have heard of the girl from NIU who was going out for a walk late one night and never returned back to her dorm. Her name was Toni Keller. A Freshman at NIU and only 18 years old. She was suppose to come home that weekend and when her family didn't hear word from her they contacted the authorities. A search went out and at least a week later remains of a human body were found in a park nearby the campus. They still have no idea to weather the body is Toni's or someone else's.
Hearing this story and many others like it has really opened my mind to the reality of the world and how cruel it can be. There are many stories out there just like Kellers, just think maybe that could have been you or even worse...someone you knew. You, and everyone else need to be careful to where you go and even who you hang out with, evil is everywhere. I remember having a talk with my boss last night. His daughter walked in and goes "Where you tracking me again??" I kinda laughed because he has a tracker on everyone of his kids. Sounds craazy and over controlling right? I used to think so but I don't anymore. After hearing about Toni I started thinking what if that happened to one of my girls I nanny, what if their family had to go through a thing like that. Its awful. That would be a horrible thing to deal with, so even if it sounds crazy that he tracks them its for their own safety. They should be thankful there father loves them enough to take care of them and protect them.
So I guess I'm done with my little ramble but be aware of these things. Thank care of your family members. Pray for those who have gone missing and the families who have lost a loved one and also pray for the Keller family.
October 24, 2010
A Dream
I've lost my passion for life. It just isn't there anymore. I'm not sure where it went. I've checked the lost and found and even tried under the bed but its still nowhere to be found. If any of you may happen across it please return it to a Miss Emily Bender Hampshire IL, Thanks.
Is it possible to get so caught up in the world that you get stuck in the motions. Is it possible for a single soul to have it all and still feel completely lost. Where have the dreams and big hopes gone to, why has this darkness of never endingness been suffocating me for so long. I want to scream "Go away bad dream boo! Leave me be!" yet I turn and nothing has let up. I'm still in the same damn motions I was in the night before and the night before that. Where did my dream go....sometimes I ask myself "did I even have one" Soo I guess where back to where we started when I first sat down to write. Nothing. I've gotton nowhere and you've probably wasted time reading this but maybe if you need to take anything out of this blog it would be to not let anywhere crush your dreams. Not even yourself. Live it. Go for it, dive in head first. :) IF you have faith in yourself you'll make it out there.
Keep the light burning. Always.
Maybe one day I'll take my own advice. We'll see. Until next time keep moving forward and don't get stuck in the motions. It isn't wroth it.
Is it possible to get so caught up in the world that you get stuck in the motions. Is it possible for a single soul to have it all and still feel completely lost. Where have the dreams and big hopes gone to, why has this darkness of never endingness been suffocating me for so long. I want to scream "Go away bad dream boo! Leave me be!" yet I turn and nothing has let up. I'm still in the same damn motions I was in the night before and the night before that. Where did my dream go....sometimes I ask myself "did I even have one" Soo I guess where back to where we started when I first sat down to write. Nothing. I've gotton nowhere and you've probably wasted time reading this but maybe if you need to take anything out of this blog it would be to not let anywhere crush your dreams. Not even yourself. Live it. Go for it, dive in head first. :) IF you have faith in yourself you'll make it out there.
Keep the light burning. Always.
Maybe one day I'll take my own advice. We'll see. Until next time keep moving forward and don't get stuck in the motions. It isn't wroth it.
October 11, 2010
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