Sunlight

I met a girl once

who sighed and told me

she was not lovely

and it confused me

that she could not see

the sunlight shining through her scars

Mama

Even though she'll proabably yell at me later for posting a "bad" photo of her I'm gonna post it still because I love it. I snuck up on her while she was dancing in the kitchen. That's the laugh she gives me when she thinks I'm being silly. I honestly don't think I could make it through life without her. She's my life-line. She's taught me everything I know and she's been there through it all and even though we fight a lot, I wouldn't trade her for anyone else.

Wherever You Are

I'm gonna be honest with you all its been almost a year since my first big break up where my heart actually stopped beating when he told me it was over. I thought I couldn't live without him ( what an idiot! I'm laughing out loud right now.) because him breaking up with me was the best thing that could have ever happened.

You know how people always tell you to grow a spine? I always thought that comment was so friggin' rude... I know now why I took offense BECAUSE I HAD NO SPINE,  Duh! until that horrible day when he looked me in the eyes and told me he never loved me and that I was only his rebound. It was so strange because I wanted to cry but it was as if God was watering me with miracle grow on steroids. My spine grew twenty nine sizes that day. (I'm pretty sure the angels in heaven did a little dance) 

Having a spine is very new to me. (any tips are greatly appreciated!) I used to be that stupid girl who would smile and nod at everything. I'd be whatever you wanted me to be in fact being anything I wasn't sure you'd want me to be was extremely discombobulating. Making waves OMG speaking my mind? Yeaaa I don't think so... It literally was the most uncomfortable things in the world but now speaking my mind, having an opinion, making choices, causing waves is my favorite thing to do. :D (with in reason, of course) I don't always cause trouble (cough) but I'll stand up for the truth and I'll be my complete quirky self whether you can handle or not.

So wherever you are... Thanks for being the guy who set my life in motion. You are the best worst thing to ever happen to me because by losing you I found myself.

p.s. Who ever is reading this.. I know you've been there. We all have and if you haven't reached this point in life yet just remember you'll come out even better than when you went in. :)

The Game

My mom found this somewhat poem I wrote back in high school and gave it to me today. I used to write a lot back then and I've saved all my stuff but I completely forgot about this one. I don't know, its okay, amusing at least. :)

The Game
Is life just a game
and everyone just a pawn
or is it all just a joke. 

Are we all running a race,
tricking and cheating to win first place
outdoing the other, taking pure pleasure 
in the faults of another? 

Is this really life
Is this the game we've created
and would He be proud,   
to look down upon us...

To see the filth that clings
and ugliness  that reeks. 
Would He be ashamed to see-- 
us as we are, a disgrace 
that longs to be saved by grace. 

Would He be proud if He --
Could see us as we are
In this race, running to win first place.