Reason Four to Smile

Because of God's unanswered prayers because if he had answered them than I wouldn't be at this place I am now. My Jesus really knows what he's doing and that just makes me smile. :)

Reason Three to Smile

My 3rd reason to smile came to me while I was cleaning my room... It really is in due of a cleaning I have clothes thrown everywhere I can't even find anything anymore. Anyways...as I'm putting things away I realized that I own a lot of boy sweatshirts. Haha I don't have a lot because boy gave them to me.. NOPE in fact I've never had a boy give me his sweatshirt or even let me borrow one... well fine... Zach would let me borrow one when I was super cold or crying but he's like a brother to me. MY point is that I have a lot of sweatshirts and I was thinking "boy! I have too many, I should get rid of some..." but as I went through them and tried to pick out the ones I don't wear I realized I wear them all! They all have a different purpose... Like my super big cubs sweatshirt... I wear to bed whenever I need to feel comforted and secure. My dark yet bright orange sweatshirt I wear all the time... I wear it to dress down an dress that I might have own earlier in the day or I just wear it with jeans to feel comfy and then I have a white normal size sweatshirt that matches my best friend Julies. We wear ours all the time together. :) After that comes my very first sweatshirt that I ever bought... I hardly ever wear it but when I do Its for a reason and it just makes me feel like life is okay. My very last one just showed up in my house... after a party... We don't know who's it is but I love it a lot. I wear that one a lot with leggings and a long t-shirt.

As you can seee... I own a lot of sweatshirts and every single one of them has a purpose in my life... I couldn't get rid of them if I tried. I love them to death. They comfort me and make me smile. <3

Reason Two to Smile

I have lots of reasons to smile lately...so many I can't even name them all...all I know is that I smile all the time and I love that feeling.

Reasons to Smile
1) In August I'll start beauty school
2) God has blessed me with so many amazing people in my life to encourage me and push me forward even when I can't see through the fog and I'm so thankful for them.
3) There's this person and they make me smile like no other.
4) Music, its the sountrack to my life. I would feel lifeless without music.
5) My Journal.
6) My camera, I don't know where I'd be or how I made it through life without it. I love being able to capture moments and freeze them. :)
7) My Jesus. He's my everything.

I soo wish I had a moment to capture all this. :)

Reason One to Smile

Yesterday night I met with a good friend and God used her to really work inside of me. The Lord knows I still hurt and he was able to use her to allow me to see some good that he's placed inside my life and to accept that...that good was meant for me. We're working on changing my outlook on life and appreciating that the Lord believes I'm worth it. Its freeing... It makes me smile. Last night I was honestly emotionally worn out and I went straight to bed but I'm awake now! haha its 4:38am.

So I'm awake and I decided that I was going to pray....and once I was done I remembered what she said about keeping a prayer journal and looking back on it to see what prayers were answered and what prayers were answered in different ways or not at all...So instead of keeping a prayer journal I've decided to take sticky notes and write down my prayer, give it all to the Lord, fold it up nicely and place it in my prayer box. Its just a pretty box Julie gave me for my birthday. Its painted with pretty white flowers on a black box that says "Live" "Laugh" "Love"
I love the box and as I wrote out my prayer and placed it inside I found one prayer I wrote 4 months ago and as I reread it I was shocked to see that the Lord gave me a second chance like I had asked and it just made me smile because even though I didn't think I deserved it He thought I deserved it and that means so much to me and from now on I'm going to accept the blessings he gives me and appropriate what he hands to me because to do anything else, to think any other thought would be a disrespect and I love my Lord with all I have. I'm so grateful to him.

Here's a song that was playing this morning as I was writing. I love this song so much and one part of the song really hits me as Josh Wilson sings "Maybe, there are things you can't see and all those things are happening to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see" Those lyrics are so true. There are things I can't see, and those things that God can see, well he's using them and I'm going to trust that He knows best...because he is my savior. ;) I'm grateful to him for doing all he's done for me. I'm going to learn to accept that now and remember I'm worth what he does for me otherwise he wouldn't do it. I know my God doesn't waste his time ;)

Never Be the Same

This song just started playing from one of my playlists....it's a bit rocky but I love the lyrics. I looked them up and one line hit me to the core...He sings "I just can't walk away 'cuz after loving you I can never be the same..." This is to the very tee how I feel about Jesus. There have been so many times and so many situations where I get so frustrated and think "Why, why are you letting this happen? or what's the point??!?! all those other non Christians seem to have it easy... "all I want to do is walk away, but when I look back on the past all I can see is his hand and how he fixed every mistake, took every shattered rose and brought something amazing from it.

I fell in love with my creator and I know I'll never be the same anymore. I can't walk away, life is better with him by my side. He makes everything whole. He's my hope, he's my smile when I can't seem to find it, he's my peace when life spins out of control. He's the reason and the only reason why I can forgive and let go. He's my everything and I'm so grateful to him for all he's done. -Philippians 2:13 <3

It was Cold!!!!

So yesterday we had a photoshoot and even though I wish we had more time when the lighting was better I still think we got a couple good ones. This kid is awesome for modeling. :)

We're Gonne Freeze

Its sooo cold out but I'm super excited to get out there and take some pictures of Alex. :) We prolly won't last long but at least we'll get some. :P

Smile

So inspit of this day not going like I planed it...it still had its perfect moments and honestly maybe even better than what the other moments were gonna bring.

Well, where to start, I woke up late and started packing....which I still have to finish. haha I am awful at packing, no joke and then I went out to take pictures because it was a little after 1:00. I got all my brothers together and even the dog and we went into the forest to take a couple shots which I'll post later, I still need to fix them but after the forest we decided to get their cowboy boots on and go to the road because I wanted a couple shots of just their shoes. I was trying to be creative!
Here's what I came up with....

After I finished the boys pictures I made pizza dough and headed out to take a couple pictures of my two favorite little kids. They seriously make me smile when I'm crying... Here is just one of the many pictures I took but this one is my favorite. :)

This girl can be such a pain sometimes but I will always remember the time when I ran 3 miles barefoot to their house crying and she washed them and put lotion on them until they felt better. <3 She's precious.

One foggy Day....

So I got my new lens and even though the weather hasn't been great for taking pictures I made due with what I have and on New years eve I found myself two beautiful victims and we decided to start a shoot. :) I had soo much fun. It was as if I came alive with every click and I loved every second of it... even the part where we got yelled at for being on private property. :P Here are a couple shots I took. Hope you enjoy! Happy New YEARS!