:) :)

Okay, so its that time a year when everyone is hurrying to finish up school before Christmas break....crammin' for finals, we hardly get any sleep at all and end up extremely crabby. Guess what! It's almost over! :) I'm excited for it to be over with and to be able to hang with my friends again. :) :) God has blessed me so much and I'm so thankful to him. I'm really greatful to have such an amazing God like him and great friends. My life has changed so much since a year ago...and you know what as painful as it was i'm glad it happened because I've seen so much more of the world and made so many great friends along the way...I grew closer to my God and learned great lessons along the way. So I'm sad last year had to happen but even with the most horrible things God can use it to be something great. :) Okay I need to get back to studying. EKKK! I'm happy.

Tired People

These past couple of months I've really worked on studying people and how they live their life. Call it creepy, call me a stalker, whatever but what I've begun to realize is how much hurt people hold inside and I think to myself. "Wow, I know how that feels." But I don't still have that hurt bottled up inside. They look so sad and hopeless as if their passion for life has been burned out. Someday I wish I could just say one thing...one thing that could bring them back but they just sit there and wallow in their own pain....continuing to do the same stuff that cut them in the first place. So I just sit there and watch them in their addiction thinking "Man, I'm glad I have a God that heals" See I may be disappoint for a day or two but I get back up again and move on. If someone knocks you down, you get back up, shack it off and finish running the race, because the worse thing you could ever do when pain comes your way is let it win. So whip away the pain in your eyes and start to smile again...take it one day at a time and I can promise you this...You are never alone through it all. He's always right beside you.

Lies

Lies

Something in your eyes kept me going
Something you said woke me up
But I should have guessed it was all a lie

All a game, all an act
I hoped for so much more
What a fool I've been

I wanted to know you
I wanted to care
why couldn't you see
the light you brought me

You painted a smile on a tired face
bringing it back to life
Your words were kind and charming
but I wasn't enough for you

I hope your happy
You've won the game
Now go ahead and collect your prize
For you have trapped me in your lies

-Poetry by Emily Bender and edited by Allison Stein

Thankful

Okay, so its thanksgiving...one of my favorite holidays ever, simply because we all come together as a family and eat really great foood. We are all thankful for everything...or at least we should be. Right? HAha no in my family. Okay, I just don't get it. For some odd reason when ever I start to care about something it gets trashed or ripped away. I really started to love thanksgiving this year and it was ruined...stuff like this happens all the time...but I shouldn't be complaining about it. I should be thanking God...because life sure could be a lot worst. So I guess I am going to stop right now and thank God for all the blessings he gives to me because even if my family is messed up and my life might not go the way I want it...at least I have a God who cares and showers his love on me every day.

Happpy Thanksgiving.

Strong Enough?

What if you were to love...to let down your walls and dare to feel. Would you later on end up on the floor cursing the day you dared or would you be thankful you decided it was worth the risk. What if you were to love. What if you decided to dare. You can only stay strong for so long before your walls break and fall down. So will you fight for love or fight against it but before you can truly love another you have to allow Jesus to love you, because without his love you'll never feel complete inside.

The World

So as a baby you are innocent and know nothing of this world...but give yourself a couple years and you start to figure out what pain is...give yourself a couple more years and you realize what happiness is and than in a second your whole world falls apart or your best friend world falls apart and you try your best to hold them together.
Its rough growing up...you start seeing the world for what it really is...its harsh and mean and its difficult to find the beauty and love in the darkness...but you gotta try...cause even though this world is heartless and you realize that more and more every day doesn't mean give up...it means search harder! Try your best and be happy. Find the good in this broken world. Use uplifting words and pray....because truth is its the best thing you can do. So you might not be innocent anymore...you prolly see the world in all its wonderful colors but don't let that bring you down! Grow and face the world. Tell it "I don't care what you throw my way...I ain't backing down!" and don't. Stand your ground, stand in Christ. Be strong and have an uplifting mood because that can kill the worse of your enemies.

Life is Short

Have you ever heard the saying..."Life is short" people say it all the time but no one ever listens. We all take life for granted...wasting away our time as if it grows on trees.

Today I was informed that a family friend of ours son died a couple days ago serving our country. He was only 20 with a wife and a one year old daughter. I don't know if its just because I've been so stressed and emotional lately or what but hearing this news has made me feel so helpless. There is nothing I can do for this family besides pray. I wish I could do more. Like he did.
I know time will go on and wounds will heal but not fully. People lie when they say time heals. It doesn't. It still hurts and always will hurt. It might not hurt as much but there will be days where you'll remember and the pain will return. Pray for the Stalk family and their son. Pray for peace and live your life. Remember James and what a man of God he was. He lived his life for Jesus and died serving our country. So if at this moment your sitting around not doing what you know you should be...get up and start. Begin your life. Live it because we don't live forever.