August 18, 2012
August 15, 2012
The Girl
Today I had a long talk with a friend about why I attract so many losers in my life and she told me that I'm too friendly... I'm too nice... that I need to care less about people and only care about the ones who take time to get to know me and want to get to know the real me but honestly the more I thought about that the more I realized that I couldn't be that... because that's not who I am. I'm the girl who's gonna care about you no matter what you do to me. I'm the girl who will forgive everything you do and say to hurt me and still believe that you have good inside. I'm the girl who gives second and third and forth and fifth chances because that's what I'd want for someone else to do to me.
I may care... and put myself out there too much and get hurt but I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all. I'd rather have people remember me as the girl who always smiled than have them know me any different way.
I'd rather care and wined up alone, picking up the pieces than to just never feel anything at all. My whole life I've always viewed it in this way; Jesus is the one I'm trying to show through me... so its not me but its the people around me that matter and how they see Jesus through me. Sometimes I screw up and I'm the worse example of God's love but I try to ... I try to be there for people and care about them. I don't matter and honestly I don't mind hurting if the other person is happy... I just need to find a better way with getting back up after disappointment. Jesus has it all under control tho.
(btw this isn't just about guys... this is about everyone in my life. Friends, family, and guys. Everyone)
I may care... and put myself out there too much and get hurt but I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all. I'd rather have people remember me as the girl who always smiled than have them know me any different way.
I'd rather care and wined up alone, picking up the pieces than to just never feel anything at all. My whole life I've always viewed it in this way; Jesus is the one I'm trying to show through me... so its not me but its the people around me that matter and how they see Jesus through me. Sometimes I screw up and I'm the worse example of God's love but I try to ... I try to be there for people and care about them. I don't matter and honestly I don't mind hurting if the other person is happy... I just need to find a better way with getting back up after disappointment. Jesus has it all under control tho.
(btw this isn't just about guys... this is about everyone in my life. Friends, family, and guys. Everyone)
August 13, 2012
Same Old
I'm finally starting to feel like myself again... I'm finally starting to feel the old me come back. & it feels soo good. I'm so sorry I distanced myself for God...I love who I am with him and what he makes of me. I just love this version better. ''
"And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13, KJV
"Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart." Psalms 119:2, KJV
"With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments." Psalms 119:10, KJV (this is my prayer. That I will not wander from his commandments)
August 12, 2012
Isaiah 40:31
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."
August 10, 2012
The Best is Yet to Come
These past two weeks have taken everything from me. I'm so worn out but as tired as I am I've never felt more grateful, and happy and just alive. I can honestly say that through all this I'm smiling. I wish I could tell you everything that's happened that brought me to this realization… but I can't. We'd be here ForEvER!
I can say that growing up is tough. Figuring out who you want to be…especially in this world is so so difficult. You have people pulling and tugging at you in all different directions. You have influences that are either A)good or B)bad… and you have to decide on your own what direction you want to travel down and sometimes as teens we pick the wrong road and we feel like its the end of the world but it isn't, its just a detour. & you can either regret it and beat yourself up over it or you can say I was wrong and pick yourself back up and start again.
So often I feel like we get so caught up in our bad choices and think there is no turning back or that people won't be able to forgive us that we just keep going. But that isn't the truth! The truth is that we're human! You're gonna make mistakes but that's life. That's how you grow and become the person God created you to be! The trick is to take those mistakes, learn from them and allow them to better yourself…
For the past couple days I've been making mental notes of things that have been put on my heart. Things I need to apply to my life. So far I only have seven but I think that's pretty much ;)
1) There is always something good you can take out of a bad situation.
2) Never judge another human being…you don't know they're heart.
3) You are NOT defined by the mistakes you have made.
4) You will always have a second & a third&forth & a fifth chance with God.
5) Remember tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes.
6) Be quick to forgive (that doesn't mean allow others to walk all over you… it just means that you should forgive their mistakes after that you can make the choice on whether it is right to allow them back in your life).
7) Always listen to advice but in the end think for yourself.
If there is one thing I would want you to take from all this it would be; that tomorrow is a new day and everything can change. You aren't defined by the mistakes you make. You can change at any moment. Jesus can take the worst disaster and bring something wonderful from it. You just gotta believe because I truly believe that in the worst moments the best is yet to come. :)
I can say that growing up is tough. Figuring out who you want to be…especially in this world is so so difficult. You have people pulling and tugging at you in all different directions. You have influences that are either A)good or B)bad… and you have to decide on your own what direction you want to travel down and sometimes as teens we pick the wrong road and we feel like its the end of the world but it isn't, its just a detour. & you can either regret it and beat yourself up over it or you can say I was wrong and pick yourself back up and start again.
"You aren't defined by the mistakes you have made…."
So often I feel like we get so caught up in our bad choices and think there is no turning back or that people won't be able to forgive us that we just keep going. But that isn't the truth! The truth is that we're human! You're gonna make mistakes but that's life. That's how you grow and become the person God created you to be! The trick is to take those mistakes, learn from them and allow them to better yourself…
For the past couple days I've been making mental notes of things that have been put on my heart. Things I need to apply to my life. So far I only have seven but I think that's pretty much ;)
1) There is always something good you can take out of a bad situation.
2) Never judge another human being…you don't know they're heart.
3) You are NOT defined by the mistakes you have made.
4) You will always have a second & a third&forth & a fifth chance with God.
5) Remember tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes.
6) Be quick to forgive (that doesn't mean allow others to walk all over you… it just means that you should forgive their mistakes after that you can make the choice on whether it is right to allow them back in your life).
7) Always listen to advice but in the end think for yourself.
If there is one thing I would want you to take from all this it would be; that tomorrow is a new day and everything can change. You aren't defined by the mistakes you make. You can change at any moment. Jesus can take the worst disaster and bring something wonderful from it. You just gotta believe because I truly believe that in the worst moments the best is yet to come. :)
August 9, 2012
All of Me
I wish I could say I have it all figured out. I wish I could say I never fail or made mistakes but that would be a lie. All I really can say is that I'm human, I make mistakes and I have a Savior who decided to love me before I even committed any sins. Its such a humbling thought to realize there is one person in this world who will never love you less for the things you've done. It makes me want to cry sometimes...
Ya know, life is messy, and complicated and crazy, and silly and just plain wonderful sometimes but this summer I kinda lost sight of a couple things... I got cocky and started relying on myself to fix things and do things and I pushed God away...which was the biggest mistake of my life and it didn't hit me until I was driving home on my own at night overwhelmed by life and choices I had to make and this song came on the radio... I heard the words "You're gonna have all of me... you're gonna have all of me/I can't give you half my heart and pray He makes it whole" I started sobbing... and I mean tears wouldn't stop streaming down my face and I couldn't breath cause I was crying so hard but I realized in that moment that I wasn't the girl I used to be... I wasn't even a girl I'd be proud to say was my best friend... I had pushed God soo far away that even in that moment I still didn't feel him near but I knew I needed to change. I needed to let him have all of me. Needed to give him my whole heart because my heart is soo tangled up and hurt and my whole life I've kept such a hold on it... I kept thinking "ohhh I'll fix it! Its okay, I can do this!!!" but I can't, in fact any amount of progress I have made in my life isn't because of how strong I am but because of how much love he has shed on me.
I'd always tell people its because of God... and I truly believed that but my sinful heart still held on to a couple pieces that the reason I've gotton so far in life was because I helped. It wasn't. It isn't. Its all because of God and to be completely honest any amount of set back I've ever hit is because I wasn't allowing God to lead... so in all truth I did help... but only to set me back a couple miles. I don't want that anymore. I'm giving my whole heart to God so I can move on and be the girl he wants me to be. So that one day I'll never be afraid to love, so that I'm able to show people who Christ really is and be an example. He's gonna have all of me and I'm so thankful that I can ask him to have all of me and his response isn't "been there... done that... didn't work" no its not that... its simply "welcome home, I've been waiting."
I'm so thankful my past mistakes don't define me. I'm so thankful for a Heavenly Father who doesn't ever stop loving me. I know he has great plans in store and I know that whoever is out there reading this... if you've ever been at this point in life remember its never too late to ask Jesus to lead you again. He's always been there you just couldn't feel him because of the space you set in between. He's there. I promise. He's waiting for you.
& please remember no matter what you've done, no matter where you've been no mistake you've made will make him love you any less. You aren't defined by the mistakes you've made. You aren't, so stop beating yourself up because he has forgiven you.... a long time ago on the cross. You are more than that, you are soo much more to him than any mistake. So you can start by forgiving yourself because he already has. :)
Ya know, life is messy, and complicated and crazy, and silly and just plain wonderful sometimes but this summer I kinda lost sight of a couple things... I got cocky and started relying on myself to fix things and do things and I pushed God away...which was the biggest mistake of my life and it didn't hit me until I was driving home on my own at night overwhelmed by life and choices I had to make and this song came on the radio... I heard the words "You're gonna have all of me... you're gonna have all of me/I can't give you half my heart and pray He makes it whole" I started sobbing... and I mean tears wouldn't stop streaming down my face and I couldn't breath cause I was crying so hard but I realized in that moment that I wasn't the girl I used to be... I wasn't even a girl I'd be proud to say was my best friend... I had pushed God soo far away that even in that moment I still didn't feel him near but I knew I needed to change. I needed to let him have all of me. Needed to give him my whole heart because my heart is soo tangled up and hurt and my whole life I've kept such a hold on it... I kept thinking "ohhh I'll fix it! Its okay, I can do this!!!" but I can't, in fact any amount of progress I have made in my life isn't because of how strong I am but because of how much love he has shed on me.
I'd always tell people its because of God... and I truly believed that but my sinful heart still held on to a couple pieces that the reason I've gotton so far in life was because I helped. It wasn't. It isn't. Its all because of God and to be completely honest any amount of set back I've ever hit is because I wasn't allowing God to lead... so in all truth I did help... but only to set me back a couple miles. I don't want that anymore. I'm giving my whole heart to God so I can move on and be the girl he wants me to be. So that one day I'll never be afraid to love, so that I'm able to show people who Christ really is and be an example. He's gonna have all of me and I'm so thankful that I can ask him to have all of me and his response isn't "been there... done that... didn't work" no its not that... its simply "welcome home, I've been waiting."
I'm so thankful my past mistakes don't define me. I'm so thankful for a Heavenly Father who doesn't ever stop loving me. I know he has great plans in store and I know that whoever is out there reading this... if you've ever been at this point in life remember its never too late to ask Jesus to lead you again. He's always been there you just couldn't feel him because of the space you set in between. He's there. I promise. He's waiting for you.
& please remember no matter what you've done, no matter where you've been no mistake you've made will make him love you any less. You aren't defined by the mistakes you've made. You aren't, so stop beating yourself up because he has forgiven you.... a long time ago on the cross. You are more than that, you are soo much more to him than any mistake. So you can start by forgiving yourself because he already has. :)
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